Creating a safe space - Secure Attachment

Attachment theory is about relationships and how we are impacted by those closest to us. The attachment we feel towards our parents is a key influence on our ability to engage in meaningful relationships.

Secure Attachment is a deep, trusting emotional bond between a child and caregiver, formed when a child consistently feels safe, seen, soothed and supported. It is the foundation for healthy emotional, social and cognitive development.

A secure child will:

• Trust their caregiver will meet their needs

• Feel safe to explore and return to their caregiver for re-assurance or comfort

• Learn how to regulate emotions and build meaningful relationships

Practical Skills for Parents (to create secure attachment)

• Be emotionally available. "I'm here with you" "I see you're feeling upset"

• Consistently respond to needs - attend to physical and emotional needs reliably. This is especially important for 0-3 year olds.

• Name and Validate Emotions - show that feelings are okay, even the hard ones. Help your child understand and name what they feel.

• Be a Safe Base. Encourage independence while being present & accessible. "go and play, I will be right over here if you need me"

• Repair after Conflict. When you yell, get distracted or make a mistake, take responsibility and reconnect.

• Be present. Spend regular focused time with your child. Play, read books, take a walk (no phones, no multitasking)

• Stay regulated yourself. Your calm presence teaches your child how to calm themselves. Use tools like self-talk and deep breathing and express how your feeling. "I'm feeling stressed so I'm going to take a few deep breaths before I answer you".

• Consistent Gentle Discipline. Set boundaries with kindness. Avoid shaming or threatening.

Secure attachment doesn't mean perfect parenting. Children need connection not perfection.